How do you define romance?

How do you define romance? This is important with regards to what you expect out of a romantic picnic.

Romance Consultant L.A. Hunter defines Romance as “the creation of an atmosphere where she feels unconditional love and appreciation. You can turn down the lights, turn on the radio, take her by the hand and ask her to dance in the kitchen. That’s romance”.

According to Barbara and Michael Jonas, creators of the relationship-enhancement games An Enchanting Evening, To Know You Better, and Two to Tango, “romance is not so much what you do, but how you do it, your attitude, and the creativity you use to make your partner feel loved, appreciated, and special. For one person, romance is daisies on a breakfast tray. For another, it’s a foot massage after a long day at work. For a third, it’s surprise weekend getaway. Each of these romantic gestures is different. But they all have one thing in common an attitude that says I love you. I care about you. I appreciate you and I’m happy to put some effort into demonstrating it”.Romance seems to center around a relationship. According to Relationship Expert Russell Price Jr. “We fall in love with somebody not because of who they are but because of how they make us feel about ourselves. They are attracted to us so therefore we suddenly feel very attractive and grow in our self-esteem. The more they are attracted to us the better we feel, and the better we feel the more we are attracted back to them for making us feel THIS GOOD. In turn, they feel the same feelings and emotions as us because we are making them feel good about themselves, too! What a great cycle of love; we actually fall in love with each other for making us feel so great about ourselves.”I have read many articles, books, blogs, etc. and in most of the “Good” ones romance and a relationship between two people go hand in hand. The general consensus seems to be that we enter into a relationship not because of how we feel about the other person but how the other person makes us feel about ourselves. Words like love, appreciated, special, etc. always seem to appear in discussions about romance. There is also some type of cycle or feedback involved between the two people. The two people give to the relationship with an expectation that they will receive benefits. These benefits as related to romance are emotional in nature with physical elements common. In fact it is the emotional elements that separate physical encounters into love and self-gratification. Is one giving to another or is one taking for personnel gain only. Romance seems to be a cycle of giving and taking for the emotional benefit of both. Since romance is emotional it does not have to be logical. This gets into the right side of brain versus left side of brain functions. Ones feelings and emotions do not have to really make sense. So romance does not have to really make a lot of sense. History is filled with examples of silly ways couples have tried to PROVE their love to one another. Negative emotions such as jealousy, distrust, etc. are the classic weapons in history for destroying romance. In some cases romance becomes a battle between the dark negative emotions and the bright positive emotions. I like Russell Price Jr. description of falling out of love.
”Our hearts are heavy and empty. We feel betrayed, hurt, and resentful. How could they allow such ruin? We do not feel good about ourselves. The sun has stopped shining, the old oak tree is wicked looking, with gnarled twisted branches, your eyes have dark circles under them and there is a dragging shuffle in your walk. You have fallen out of love.” Notice the vast array of negative emotions directed at oneself. Romance is really all about ME. It takes effort to go beyond the me and give back to another. Unfortunately, the effort it takes to give back usually has to be less than the value I receive. Such is the nature of romance. That is what can make it so hard to last. How can I be expected to give more than I receive back? Remember we are not talking logical but emotional. Maybe one can look at this differently. Can one use romantic picnics to not only give to another, but to give to oneself at the same time? I know this sounds bad at first glance. However, when we go to a romantic location do we not benefit emotionally by the location itself. When you really take something like a romantic picnic apart you find a great deal of emotional benefit received that is not totally dependent on who you are with. There is a percentage of emotional benefit that hopefully will be supplied by another. But it is also possible that the majority of benefit to both parties can be supplied by the location, food, mode created, etc. How much easier is it to give to another when our emotional cup is full on the positive side? Proper planning of a romantic picnic can also remove or help negate negative emotions such as stress, tension, fear, worry, if only for a period of time. Some time just removing a percentage of negative emotions and tip the balance to the positive. Again it is all about me, so I have to remove my negative emotions. Again, location, food, mode, etc. can all become allies to this effort. It may require no effort on the part of the other person in the relationship to remove these negative emotions. Don’t we all seem to have comfort foods? Have you ever thought about places and situations where you have really be able to relax. Only the ME can leave the world behind for a brief period of time. You are the one who carries you daily worries and cares with you on a romantic picnic. Only you can set these cares aside for a while.
So does romance boil down to emotional investments in oneself maybe more so then an investment in another? How one defines romance will greatly govern their expectations from a “Romantic Picnic” and expectations from the one we are in a romantic relationship with.   


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