Thoughts from a discussion on Romance in Second Life

My wife attended a discussion on romantic relationships in Second Life a week or so ago. I have been spending time with family and have just gotten around writing about it. First I should clarify that my wife and I are both in our 40’s and this was the first time she has ever attended any type of discussion in Second Life. To her Second Life is just some type of role playing game that people, myself included, take too seriously. Fortunately for me she is willing to help me on my “Romantic Picnic Project”. Although I did have to bribe her with breakfast at her favorite restaurant.

 

So back to the discussion, my take on my wife’s impression was that the women were really looking for a more immersive romance novel. Many of them have true relationships in Second Life that are not romantic. The relationships seem to be more like ones may make on a brief meeting such as a business trip or vacation and continue through letters and/or email.

 

The romance part seemed to be more role playing. Building a fantasy such as recapturing that first teenage romance. Taking that trashy romance novel that you have reread ten times and trying to create your favorite parts in Second Life. I have been in Second Life enough to understand this. My wife was surprised by how drawn in women were emotionally with what to her was just role playing. It was hard for my wife to appreciate the emotional energy that was put into the romance and then the breakup. I tried to explain the emotional high that the romance in Second Life can create along with the crash that comes when it ends. Having not been in a Second Life myself I had to use examples of others I have talked to. This probably explains the strange look my wife gave me along with “OK”. It is hard to explain to someone who has not spent time in Second Life that for some people it really is a Second Life.

 

The subject of stalking came up in the discussion also. My wife was surprised about this aspect of Second Life. Some of the young women have had men try to stalk them in Real Life. Being 47, over weight and balding my wife is not worried about me being stalked. However, she was a little surprised with how easy it was to use email and the Internet to identify who you really are.  In Second Life there is a high level of anonymity. This leads to behavior in Second Life that one may never do in Real Life. The anonymity is only lost when you willingly give information to someone. Like sending them pictures, etc. If the example of the stalkers is true then it would seem to me that some men are also creating fantasies that they are then trying to take into the Real World. Second Life is a world where you can be perfect. Unfortunately, this perfection can not be transferred to the Real World. In the real world we may be over weight, unattractive, etc. The Real World has warts no matter how much we may wish they did not exist.

 

Second Life is a world where our alter egos can run free. The fantasy of romance can thrive, and we can achieve that which we can’t in the Real World. Or those who don’t have a wife who reminds them that it is just a role playing game 🙂

Tags: romance in a virtual world, Second Life, virtual romance